"Last time on Total Drama Network!" The Host announced, sitting on a large sofa with Brittany and Eric in the aftermath studio.
Catherine and Zach, the second season's finalists, were positioned directly across from them; they sat on two large thrones in the center of the stage.
"Catherine, Kevin, and Zach were put to the ultimate test when their challenge was to go the longest without sleeping," The Host smirked. "Catherine won immunity once again, which is no shock. But the real surprise was when Kevin kissed his long-time bestie, and was voted off."
Kevin, who sat on the sofa with the other aftermath commentators, nervously looked down at the ground, ashamed of his actions.
"And now, it's down to this season's final two," The Host grinned, pointing at the camera enthusiastically. "What friendships will be broken? What secrets will be revealed? And who will win the rights to the channel? Find out tonight, on this episode of Total Drama Network!"
After the theme song played, the screen faded into the aftermath studio.
The Host snickered. "Well, this is awkward."
"What is?" Zach asked.
"The fact that one of you is going to be a big winner, and one of you is going to be a big time loser," The Host winked.
"Listen, Zach," Catherine stated. "At the end of the day, one of us is going to win. Granted; it'll probably be me, but it could always be you."
"Gee," Zach rolled his eyes. "Thanks."
Catherine turned to The Host. "Can we start the challenge now? I'm getting impatient, which is weird, because I've never been too fond of your dangerous death-traps."
"Aw, that's so sweet. But today, you're not allowed to move from that throne," The Host beamed. "For our final challenge, the non-returning contestants and our voted off users will be asking you two questions on why you should win."
"We'll also be voting for a winner," Terry smiled.
"Terry, if you steal my line again, I'll whack you over the head with a water bottle," The Host sneered. "Now, let's start those questions. Alphabetical order; so, Brandon, you're up first."
Brandon stood up.
"Hey, guys," Brandon said.
"Hey, Brandon," Catherine smiled, waving at him.
"Yo," Zach replied unenthusiastically.
Brandon grimaced. "Yeah...well, I already kind of know who I'm voting for, but I may as well ask; what will you two do with the money if you win?"
"Oh, I'll go," Catherine shrugged. "Well, uh, okay; if I happened to win the rights to this chatroom, I'm thinking of a major redesign. I'm talking treadmills, a swimming pool, and a sports arena."
"You're planning on turning the chatroom into a mansion?" Brandon asked, confused.
Catherine chuckled. "No way. A gym!"
"Sweet," Brandon nodded, turning to Zach.
"If I win, I'll sell the chatroom, honestly," Zach confessed. "I'm going to use the money to pay for college so I can get a better education and live a good life."
"Meh," Brandon bit his lip. "Although that's sweet, I'm probably voting for Catherine. You weren't exactly my best friend on the show, if you know what I mean."
"You win some, you lose some, right?" Zach smiled.
"Right," Brandon rolled his eyes.
Brandon sat down.
Brittany stood up.
"I guess I'm next," Brittany stated.
"No duh," Jeff said dryly.
Brittany glared at Jeff and then turned back to the two finalists. "Well, congrats to Zach for making it this far."
"Oh, here we go," Catherine muttered.
"You know, Zach, you are a strong competitor," Brittany chirped.
"Uhhh, thanks," Zach replied.
"No, no, no," Brittany shook her head. "Thank you. Thank you for not kissing my boyfriend."
"What?" Zach cried.
"Zach, she's going to vote for you, so just be appreciative," Catherine informed him. "I don't even know what I did wrong."
"Oh, really?" Brittany laughed. "Well, alright; here's my question to the final two. If one of your closest friends locked lips with your boyfriend, what would you do?"
Zach raised an eyebrow. "I don't really have a boyfriend."
"Okay, fine," Brittany nodded. "Let's make it 'girlfriend' in your scenario."
"I don't really have one of those, either, Brittany," Zach stated dryly.
"It's hypothetical, so just answer it!" Brittany demanded.
Zach sighed. "I guess I'd be a little angry, okay?"
"Thank you," Brittany grinned.
"I would not be angry," Catherine stated. "And that's not how it happened. You're being totally unfair; I'm sorry that Kevin betrayed you, but even though he and I had a sort-of-relationship-thing going on, I stayed true to Eric all the way."
"That's my girl," Eric smiled.
"I would never purposely kiss your boyfriend, Brittany," Catherine sighed.
"Hmph. Well, you're just a liar," Brittany glared at Catherine.
Brittany sat down.
Chad stood up.
"Wow. Well, that was dramatic," Chad noted, scratching his head.
"Tell me about it," Catherine mumbled.
"Alright, well, here's my question," Chad started. "If you guys were the non-returners, and the non-returners were the final seven, which one of us would you pick to win?"
"Honestly?" Catherine questioned. "I don't even remember who the non-returners are."
"Brittany, Chad, Eric, Jeff, Sabrina, Terry, and Webby," Zach informed Catherine, smirking.
"Oh," Catherine awkwardly responded. "Well, then, obviously Eric."
"I'd pick Jeff," Zach stated. "He's a strong competitor. From the moment he arrived to the show, you could tell that he wouldn't take crap from anybody. And he doesn't."
Jeff nodded approvingly at Zach.
"So, nobody would want me to win?" Chad asked sadly.
"Nope," Catherine shook her head.
"Sorry, dude," Zach replied.
Chad sat down.
Elizabeth stood up.
Suddenly, deathly music came out of nowhere.
"Sorry," The Host apologized, taking his cellphone out of his pocket and switching it off. "Ringtone. Go ahead."
Elizabeth glared at The Host. "That was so rude."
"Here we go, another rant from Elizabeth," Zach sulked.
"Don't defame me just because of our minor conflict, Zachary," Elizabeth sneered. "Besides, I'm already voting for Catherine, so why do I have to ask a question?"
"Your contract states that you have to participate in every single challenge while you're still competing on the show," The Host explained. "And, technically, you're still competing. And this is a challenge."
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Fine; whatever. I have a question regarding your intentions during the competition."
"What do you mean by that?" Zach inquired.
"Well, what was your strategy, dimwit?" Elizabeth demanded.
"Oh," Zach realized. "I guess I just played it simple. If there was ever a time that I needed to be strategic, I wouldn't pass it up. But mostly, I tried to play the game like anyone else."
Elizabeth nodded. "Catherine?"
"Strategy is the key to winning," Catherine smirked. "You need at least one ally, a killer pair of running shoes, and a few friends."
Kevin scoffed in disgust. "I was your 'one ally'? Is that all you thought of me as?"
"What? Of course not," Catherine stuttered. "I-I was your friend!"
"Yeah," Kevin sneered. "You were."
Elizabeth sat down.
Eric stood up.
He flirtatiously winked at Catherine.
Catherine blew him a kiss in response.
Zach cleared his throat. "Hello? Question, please?"
"Oh, right," Eric bit his lip. "My question is; what do you like most about me, Catherine?"
Catherine smirked. "You have to involve Zach in the question, too, Eric."
"Oh, yeah; him, too," Eric nodded.
"I like your humor, and your personality, and your looks, and everything else," Catherine smiled.
"Nice. Zach, do you want to answer this question?" Eric asked.
"Er," Zach scratched his head. "Not really, I'll pass."
"No, Zach. Go ahead," Ryan smirked. "Anthwer hith quethtion."
Zach sighed and rolled his eyes. "Alright. I like your, uh, head."
"My head?" Eric's eyes widened.
"Yeah, it's nicely shaped," Zach shrugged.
"Wow, thanks, man!" Eric chirped.
"No problem?" Zach raised an eyebrow.
Eric sat down.
Jeff stood up.
"A'ight," Jeff said. "So, here's my question."
"Can you not make it too violent, please?" Catherine asked.
"Sure," Jeff shrugged.
"Thanks," Catherine smiled.
"Okay, so you're about to get eaten alive by a shark," Jeff said. "You're underwater. You have nothing on you but a waterproof camera, a waterproof cellphone, and a piece of meat. What do you do?"
"Really, Jeff?" Catherine asked. "Really?"
"I'd never use the cellphone," Zach replied. "Heck, even if it is waterproof, you're pretty much screwed, anyways. So, I'd attach the meat onto myself so the shark would go faster and videotape the entire thing with the waterproof camera. It would make an awesome viral video."
"What?" Catherine cried. "That's ridiculous! If it was me, I'd throw the meat at the shark, swim away, and use the cellphone to call the ambulance."
"Lame," Jeff and Zach said simultaneously.
"Boys," Catherine muttered to herself.
Jeff sat down.
Kevin stood up.
"Hey, Kevin," Catherine smiled.
Kevin glared at Catherine. "Can I just ask the question, or do you have to purposely get under my skin?"
"Now, here's mine," Kevin said. "If you had to live on only one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?"
"Vegetables," Catherine replied.
"Probably vegetables," Zach nodded.
"Hey, wait; if we both have the same answer, does that mean Kevin has to re-ask his question?" Catherine pondered.
"Nope," Kevin said. "I'm still voting for Zach."
"Oh," Catherine frowned.
"Yeah," Kevin replied irritatedly.
Kevin sat down.
Ryan stood up.
"You know, to be honetht, I'm thtill pretty thurprithed that I wath eliminated," Ryan pointed out.
"Really?" Catherine asked. "But everyone hates you."
"Yeah, but," Ryan narrowed his eyes at Catherine. "I feel like the reathon I wath voted off ith becauthe nobody really got to know me."
"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night," Zach mumbled.
"In order to win my vote, you have to tell me what my favorite color ith, what my favorite number ith, and what my favorite fruit ith," Ryan responded.
"Are you serious?" Catherine asked. "He's not serious, right? Because I don't know any of that."
"Well, it wath worth a try," Ryan shrugged, turning around to sit back down.
"Your favorite color is red, your favorite number is thirteen, and your favorite fruit is watermelon," Zach stated. "There. Happy?"
"How did you know all that?" Catherine asked.
"I studied everyone up before I came onto the show," Zach informed her. "I figured that, if I knew a little bit about you guys, I could become friends with you faster."
"Awww," Vanessa smiled.
"What about you, Catherine?" Zach asked.
"Huh?" Catherine blushed. "Oh, sorry. I wasn't paying attention."
Ryan rolled his eyes.
"So, are you voting for me?" Zach asked Ryan.
"Ath if, lother," Ryan sneered. "Catherine ith way cooler. Pluth, if you know that much about me, you're clearly a thtalker."
Ryan sat down.
Sabrina stood up.
"Alright, well, obviously, you both deserve to win," Sabrina stated. "But only of you can. So, my question is; what do you think your biggest flaws are?"
"Uhhh, well, I don't know," Catherine replied. "We all have flaws, but sometimes we just don't notice them in ourselves. I'd say that I have a huge tendency to overreact sometimes."
"How so?" Sabrina asked.
"Like with Kevin," Catherine bit her lip. "If I hadn't voted him off, sure; things would be awkward. But it was wrong. I betrayed his trust just because I was surprised with him. And I hope he'll forgive me."
The audience began to cheer as Kevin playfully smirked at Catherine.
"I guess the apology helps," Kevin said.
"Zach, what's your flaw?" Sabrina asked.
"Too many to list," Zach laughed.
"Well, then, I'm certainly voting for you," Sabrina replied. "How could I vote for someone with so many insecurities?"
"Oh, I'm not insecure," Zach stated. "I just know I'm not perfect. Everyone on this show is majorly corrupt. And we shouldn't be afraid to admit that; I mean, the faster we realize that we have flaws, the faster we can work on them and build from our experienc-"
"Yeah, I'm voting for Catherine," Sabrina awkwardly replied.
Sabrina sat down.
Terry stood up.
"Um, excuse me," Samantha sneered. "I was supposed to be up next."
"Yeah, but nobody really likes you," Terry pointed out.
"What?" Samantha cried.
"Now you know how it feelth," Ryan told Samantha.
"My question is about the challenges. I mean, they're long and boring," Terry stated. "How did you manage to survive them all?"
"Determination, I guess," Zach shrugged. "I got exhausted, but I'd always try my hardest, no matter how sucky it was."
"Mine's obvious," Catherine giggled. "It's my excellent physical condition. And the fact that I hid a box of energy bars under my pillow."
"See, now; I knew it looked lumpy," Zach stated.
"Sweet," Terry chuckled. "Thanks, guys."
Terry sat down.
Vanessa stood up.
"Okay, well, I'm just wondering why you guys joined the show in the first place," Vanessa stated. "I think it'll help me make me decision. Or not."
"I joined the competition for my interest in education, my love for sports, and my goal to show the world what a powerful female can do," Catherine beamed.
"Me? I wanted to make friends, and owning a wiki seemed interesting," Zach replied.
"Cool," Vanessa shrugged.
"Speaking of owning a wiki, what have you done with that dump, anyway?" The Host asked.
"That's private, thank you very much!" Vanessa snapped.
The screen quickly flashed over to the old wiki, which had been transformed from a cheap, abandoned dump into an expensive, crowded spa.
The screen flashed back to Vanessa, who nervously looked around the room.
"Right," Catherine scratched her head.
Vanessa sat down.
Webby stood up.
"Well, guess I'm the last one up," Webby declared, stretching.
"No," Samantha snapped. "You're not!"
"My question isn't exactly a question," Webby smirked. "It's more of a challenge."
"And are we legally obligated to participate?" Zach asked.
"According to your contract, yes," The Host chimed in.
"Great," Zach rolled his eyes.
"Over the course of the aftermaths, we've watched a lot of people get hit by rotten tomatoes," Webby smirked. "But none of them have actually tried to avoid the tomatoes. If you want to win my vote, I'd suggest you start dodging, because the aftermath commentators are ready to pelt you guys."
All of the ex-contestants stared at Catherine and Zach with devilish looks on their faces.
"Oh, boy," Zach mumbled.
"Ready, set, fire!" Webby cried as the ex-contestants began to pelt the finalists with rotten tomatoes.
Catherine cartwheeled over to the other side of the stage, dodging several of the tomatoes, and grabbed an empty wooden crate.
She determinedly ran across the stage yelling, using the empty crate as a shield to protect her.
Zach, confused, also began to run across the stage.
However, he accidentally slipped on a rotten tomato and fell to the ground, defeated.
Catherine kissed the empty crate and smugly winked at the aftermath commentators, who were all out of ammo.
The Host emerged from behind the sofa, covered in tomatoes. "Is my hair ruined? Well? Is it?"
"Kind of," Catherine responded as Zach weakly got up from the floor.
"Well, that's just great!" The Host snapped. "That's it. Question time's over."
"What?" Samantha cried. "But I was the only contestant who didn't get a chance to vote!"
"Too bad, so sad," The Host grinned, turning to the camera. "So, who will these contestants vote for in our porta-potty-on-wheels? Find out right now!"
Booth, Chad: (rips off a piece of toilet paper and writes Zach's name down on it with a pen)
Booth, Vanessa: I'm voting for Zach. He's not really my friend, but I'd pick anyone over Catherine.
Booth, Brandon: Definitely Catherine. Not only is she the nicest finalist, but she's also the sanest.
Booth, Terry: I gotta go with my main man, Zach. We got eliminated together, and that kinda makes us bros.
Booth, Brittany: (stabs a picture of Catherine several times with her pen) I'm voting for Zach!
Booth, Sabrina: Catherine may be bossy, but she gets my vote for being so courageous.
Booth, Webby: Zach's been my buddy for a while now, but I've gotta go with Catherine. She sure can dodge.
Booth, Ryan: I detherve to be in the final two. But thince I'm not? Catherine, take that dork down.
Booth, Kevin: Gotta vote for Zach. I may have forgiven Catherine, but I still can't trust her yet.
Booth, Elizabeth: It may be predictable, but my vote goes to Catherine. She's a true friend.
Booth, Eric: Catherine's always been my girl; here's hoping that she wins.
Booth, Jeff: Are you freakin' kidding me? If you're shark-bait, you don't have time to call the cops! Zach.
Booth, Samantha: They're both idiots. (holds up a piece of toilet paper) But only one gets my vote.
The Host smugly sat on the stage's biggest sofa as Derek, his most loyal intern, approached him with a jar of toilet paper strips.
Derek placed the jar on the table in front of The Host and walked away.
The Host smirked and grabbed the jar from the table.
"And now, the votes," The Host stated.
Catherine and Zach exchanged nervous glances and then turned back to The Host.
The Host pulled out the first strip of toilet paper, belonging to Webby. "Catherine!"
Catherine clapped her hands excitedly.
"Zach!" The Host declared, pulling out Chad's strip of toilet paper from the jar.
Zach proudly pumped his fist into the air.
"That's one vote for Catherine, one vote for Zach," The Host said, pulling out Eric and Brandon's strips of toilet paper. "One more vote for Catherine. Another vote for Catherine!"
Zach bit his lip nervously.
"That's three votes for Catherine, and one vote for Zach," The Host smirked, pulling out Vanessa's strip of toilet paper from his jar. "That's another vote for Zach!"
Catherine rolled her eyes.
"That's three votes for Catherine, two votes for Zach," The Host winked.
"Hurry it up!" Ryan shouted from the other sofa.
"I will not let you spoil my fun, dude!" The Host snapped. "This is supposed to be suspenseful."
Ryan sighed and shook his head.
The Host pulled out the sixth strip of toilet paper, belonging to Jeff. "That's three votes for Zach!"
Zach beamed happily.
The Host reached into the jar once again and pulled out Kevin and Terry's strips of toilet paper. "That's another vote for Zach. And another vote for Zach!"
Kevin and Terry high-fived each other proudly.
"That's three votes for Catherine, and five votes for Zach," The Host announced, pulling out Ryan's strip of toilet paper from the jar. "And that's one more vote for Catherine!"
"Yes!" Catherine whispered to herself.
The Host pulled out Brittany and Sabrina's strips of toilet paper next. "Hm, and that's one more vote for Zach! And another for Catherine."
Zach scratched his head.
The Host pulled out the final strip of paper from the jar. "And that's one vote for Catherine! So, that means that there's six votes for Catherine, and six votes for Zach."
"That doesn't make any sense; there are thirteen competitors voting," Elizabeth pointed out.
"Well, seeing as nobody appreciates me around here, I didn't put in my vote," Samantha said, getting up from the sofa and putting her vote into The Host's jar. "There you go."
"Which one of us do you think she voted for?" Zach whispered to Catherine.
"I have no idea; she hates us both," Catherine whispered back.
Samantha walked back to the sofa that she was seated on.
The Host reached into his jar and shot a devilish grin to the finalists.
The final two exchanged nervous glances once again.
"The winner of Total Drama Network is!" The Host shouted.
Catherine bit her lip.
Zach shut his eyelids and crossed his fingers.
"Zach!" The Host declared.
Zach stood up and cheered excitedly as Catherine glared at The Host.
Several ex-contestants wildly began to cheer for him.
The members of the audience also began to cheer, throwing confetti and balloons at Zach.
Chad, Kevin, Sabrina, Vanessa, and Webby all quickly surrounded Zach and picked him up happily.
"Zach's our season two winner!" The Host grinned, tossing him an envelope. "Not only has he won the rights to the chatroom, but he's now also a staff member!"
Catherine sighed as cheering was heard in the background. She got off her throne and began to walk offstage.
"Hey, Cat," Eric called after her. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Catherine stopped. "I'm just kinda bummed out that I didn't win. But Zach deserved it."
"You played great," Eric told her.
"Thanks," Catherine retorted. "But I just wish I could've gotten some sort of consolation prize at the very least."
"Oh, trust me," Eric said, holding her hand. "You did."
The two inched closer to each other and then shared a passionate kiss before the screen panned over to Zach once again.
He happily kissed the envelope he was given as The Host turned to the camera and winked.
"But that's not all, folks!" The Host cried. "Tune in for the most epic episode yet, in our season's special episode! Seeya next time, on Total Drama Network!"